Moms Talk: Stranger Danger

A local elementary school recently sent out an e-mail telling parents about an incident where a stranger approached a young boy walking to school and tried to speak with him. He apparently ran home. No information was given out about what the stranger said to the boy to scare him, though a full description of his appearance and car was provided. It prompted an interesting conversation on the Burke Patch Facebook page where one reader questioned the incident.

"It's just so vague. [It] sounds like I could have the police after me if I tell a kid I like her Spongebob backpack," she said.

Keeping in mind that we do not know all the details of the case (I have requested more information from the police but have not heard anything yet), this brings up a very interesting topic for discussion: "stranger danger."

Everyone obviously has different thoughts and feelings on how much alone time children have and what they should be taught about strangers. What do you teach your children about stranger danger? (For example: I know my parents taught me never to get into cars with strangers. They also had me memorize my address and phone number before the age of 3). Do you allow your children to walk alone or with friends around Burke?

Here are some child supervision guidelines from Fairfax County developed by social work and community professionals. Do you agree with these guidelines?

Child Supervision Guidelines

Lack of supervision is one of the most prevalent child neglect problems in Fairfax County. The following represent minimally acceptable standards for the supervision of children. These guidelines have been developed by social work professionals in collaboration with the community. REMEMBER, they are guidelines only. There may be situations, even within these guidelines, when it is not safe to leave a child unsupervised. Parents/kinship care relatives ultimately are responsible for making decisions about their child’s safety.

Whenever any child is unsupervised/unattended the following should apply:

• There must be no emotional, medical, or behavioral problems which affect judgment or decision-making skills.
• Child must be comfortable being alone.
• Youth must have a safety plan worked out with the parent/caretaker, which includes:
• How to access parent or other responsible adult at all times (including knowing the parent/caretaker’s whereabouts and having a telephone number where a parent/caretaker can be reached).
• What to do in case of emergency.
• Guidelines for acceptable behavior.
• Knowledge of emergency telephone numbers.

• Youth must demonstrate the ability to follow the safety plan and to make decisions that reflect concern for personal safety.

Age Guidelines

• 7 years and under: Should not be left alone for any period of time. This may include leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds, and backyards. The determining consideration would be the dangers in the environment and the ability of the caretaker to intervene.
• 8 to 10 years: Should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
• 11 to 12 years: May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.
• 13 to 15 years: May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
• 16 to 17 years: May be left unsupervised (in some cases, for up to two consecutive overnight periods).