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Boys Will Be Boys

It's unavoidable!

Every time I walk into a bathroom used by one of my boys, I see the same thing: an un-flushed toilet. While sitting at the dinner table, one will burp and the other will laugh hysterically.

I don't get it - at all! I grew up with two brothers, so you would think my tolerance level for disgusting and gross behavior would be high, instead I feel like I am being eternally punished with male grossness.

I do my best with my boys to teach them manners and not be disgusting. My husband is not a “gross male”, he is very well mannered and domesticated. I would assume this is a ruse for my benefit and he gets all his guy time while at work, during training, and on deployments. Despite my efforts and my husband’s toning down any nastiness at home, my boys have become, well, boys.

First thing in the morning, a fresh polo shirt on, my six-year-old will wipe his nose with his shirt. Is it necessary? I buy tissues by the case, and have them all over the house.

I guess there is some genetic make-up that makes body function sounds funny to them. Not only do the boys make every disgusting sound possible, they encourage each other to do so and laugh hysterically when it happens. Of course, the madder I get, the funnier the sound becomes to them. If I counted the number of burping contest they had in the car, my head would explode.

When eating dinner, I know I sound like a broken record. "Take your elbows off the table. Chew with your mouth closed. Sit down in your chair. Do not play with your food. Do not hit your brother. Carrots do not belong in your nose."

I feel like I work in a zoo, domesticating apes. My daughter sits still, puts a napkin in her lap, and eats tiny bites. The boys do the exact opposite of this. Most of the time it sounds as if they are eating their last meal.

A lot of effort is put into my boys’ behavior. Sometimes it feels in vain. When they get married, I will warm their future wives that I tried hard, but it was to no avail. The toilet seat will be left up, gross sounds will flow from their body, and eating dinner with will be interesting, at the very least. I suppose some of this behavior is just un-evolved caveman like remnant’s. It leaves no doubt in my minds though that boys, really will be boys.

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