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Healing During and After Divorce

Separation and divorce often involve a complicated, crazy mix of emotions, financial problems, and legal issues. A support group can be a great help as you heal and rebuild your life.

Divorce often involves riding an emotional roller coaster: fear, anger, relief, denial, grief, exhilaration, guilt, blame, despair, anxiety, and, one hopes, belief in your ability to heal and build a good life for yourself and your children.

When I divorced, there was no magic pill for dealing with the crazy emotions, the financial issues, or the legal issues quickly. What did help was finding support from others who had lived through or were living through their own similar nightmares.

If you already have lots of friends and relatives who live nearby and are willing to listen to you for hours and help you calm down, build your strength and confidence, and find ways to work constructively with an ex you may hate, that's great. Your kids really need you to do that.  If not, I recommend looking for a divorce support group. Most areas have them available, often free or so nearly free that you can manage it.

Obviously, if both members of an ex-couple want to do this, they need to find separate groups. If you don't like the first group you try, check out a couple more. Links to some support groups are near the bottom of the page at http://fairfaxmediator.weebly.com/resources.html

In addition to finding a good support group, you might consider working with a qualified counselor or therapist for a while. If depression or anxiety is making it difficult for you to do your work or to give good care to your children, find the help you need.

Note: The author is a Certified Family Mediator

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Virginia Colin April 01, 2012 at 12:52 AM
Free Divorce Recovery Workshop starts 4/11/12 in Springfield VA and meets for 8 to 10 weeks. ow.ly/9YVUG . Appropriate for all stages of separation and divorce.
Virginia Colin April 03, 2012 at 04:49 PM
New Beginnings offers a series of discussion meetings in April. These are facilitated by a trained volunteer and offer a chance for you to meet and talk with others in the same boat. There is a $10 fee that covers refreshments (wine is offered) and helps support the organization. RSVP required. For full details, sign up for the free newsletter at www.newbeginningsusa.org. Unless otherwise noted, Mon-Thurs meetings are 7:30-10 PM; Fri meetings are 8-10:30 PM. Wed 4 ** Harnessing Hope ** Rockville Thurs 5 ** Smart People/Foolish Choices ** Springfield Tues 10 ** The "Ex" Files ** Silver Spring Fri 13 ** Coping with Rejection ** Fairfax Fri 20 ** Dating More Than One ** Gaithersburg Tues 24 ** Redefining Ourselves ** Great Falls Sun 29 ** If Only (Married 20+ Years) ** 3:00-5:30 PM ** Reston You can also check on the New Beginnings Divorce Support--DC Metro Meetup group.

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